demention

2006-09-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

wats de diff btwn blogger n beta blogger? i dun get their intentions..watever..
anws..da lame tak update..malas..seriously..n busy.hmm..
wer do i start..? k..lets tok abt epl soccer first..ders is serious signs dat chelsea r gona b de champs agn dis yr..man u so sucky..inconsistent like wat..den liverpool..oso somewat similar..wth..n arsenal..dey seem to b playing for their own..in their own drream theater..haix..
k nw i gt smeting to sae..i've been pretty reminded of death dis few daes..de kubor smell..de freshly dug grave..de sabon untok mandikan mayat..hmm.. n jus nw i fell aslp for a split second while walking..naseb pinggan tak pecah..dono wats wrong..so hu's gona go soon?
anws i dun relli hav de mmod to sae aniting much..so lets jus leave it here..as it is..

2006-09-23T01:53:00.000+08:00

im having leaky eye sockets..
i still rmmbr hw wen i first told u hw i feel..u gave me a kinda warning..wen we started talking bout our ideal partners..u alredi told me hw u want 'him' to be..i straight awae noe dat its gona b VERY hard..
bt i decided to take de 'challenge'..cos i believed dat u cud change me..change de wae i am..well..i started changing abit b4 i decided to get to noe u..
bt anw..i realise its gona b absolutely hard..its very easy foru to sae wat u want..co u r alredi like dat..u gt de upbringing..de conditioning..i dono..dats jus hw u r..nt me.im nt like dat..
so nw im jus upset cos de burden is on me.its up to me for us to stae 2geder..make ur dreams cum true..ur dream family life..a a good wive..a good mum..n all dose stuff..bt de fact is..i find it hard to c myself in dat dream.
im upset cos u jus cant accept it..honestly ive been giving u hints dat i mite not b able to giv u wat u want..u don't notice it do u?n i relli tot u had..
i dun blame u for expecting sooo much frm me..for wanting me to b dis n dat..i noe to u its not much..bt to me it is ok?n ya..evryone wants wats best for dem..ppl wan de good stuff..bt ppl usually don't end up wif evriting dat dey want.
i dont want to spoil dis relationship..i will try to giv u wat u want..bt i mite nt succeed in doing all..bt if u stubbornly want me to be all dat u want me to be..den u can go ahead n build ur utopia or watever it is widout me..
bt at wat cost?? letsjus tink abt dis..we gt lots of time to decide..

2006-09-11T21:18:00.000+08:00

todae was de start of my prelims..n honestly speaking..i haven studied..maebe abit of reading up..bt dat was it..fridae n saturdae after tcrs' dae..went ruma 1)nenek 2)wak.. sundae til wednesdae..painted house..nt de whole house ah..jus my my rm, den my parents', den living rm..followed by ceilings.. thursdae went out.. fridae n sat painted my door.. smlm..went out..tried to study..tried..
well so todae gp paper was bad..cos i was so damn thirsty..dono y..bt my throat was feeling kinda dry..so cudnt relli concentrate..didnt get to finish my aq..dat sucked..essae..well..i tot mine was de oni one wif single sheet of paper..gues it was..its a habit.. anws chem was too bad i tink..bt de ting is i didnt study..so i shal sae dat i tink i did pretty badly..wadya expect? gt stuck at de organic question..wasted too much time on it..so didnt get to do de last question..wasted..
btw i shud be aslp nw..wana wake up ltr to study abit..
bt b4 dat.. yang..im relli sori..can u jus hang in der..a few more yrs..dats all it takes..i mean..minimum it takes.. i need u..n i noe u need me too..i want u to be der..by my side..for a long time..if not for ever..n yang..after de tings we've gone thru..i noe dat u're a strong gerl..so pls..i nak u jage diri..i cant be by ur side alwaes..bt i'll alwaes love u..promise.

2006-08-27T02:41:00.000+08:00

ohh mann..been like 2 wks since i last updated..n i dun relli noe y..maebe da malas..maebe gt nothing intresting to sae..or maebe gt intresting tings dats happened bt i wont sae..heh..
tho i admit..dis yr..watever's happened to me..i haven relli foreseen..some r jus so unexpeccted..i dun believe its happening..eg..ehem2..excuse me..
besides dat..studies..smeting i nvr experienced b4..some very new lows..im jus surprised..been taking tings for granted..i had always been somewer up der since k1..even tho in primary skool noti2..studies tetap maintain..well gues it was easy back den..n oso i had motivations..to beat some of my frens back den..smetimes it was me hu challenged dem..sometimes de othr wae ard..bt usually i end up beating dem..n i still rmmbr wen i was in p5 or 6..i gt a crush on dis gerl..mind u she was 15..3 yrs older..she was relli someone hard to beat..haix..i dono hw to describe ah..bt ive often been up der dat its hard to forget abt de down here..understandable?
watever..oh ya..i had dis tcr..she was hot.period.die pakai tudong.she was in her early 30's or late 20's i guess..my p3 form tcr..gues dats hw we ended up..bt anws..she told me dis wen i gt first-in-class in p3..'i noe dat u're parents are nt well off..ur mum talked to me b4..n she said dat its very hard raising u n ur sisters wif little finances..i noe ur dad dun earn much as a taxi driver..bt i wana tell u dis..dey'll b real proud of u..u top de class!!'
well she had me in tears wen she told me dat..mind u i was still a kid..bt even as im typing dis im crying..u c..she reminded me dat my parents jus wan me to work hard..be successful..n make sure dat their sacrifice isnt wasted..isnt for nought..n all dis while..ive smehw managed to bring out de goods..bt dis tyme..its much3 harder..its feeling much like contraband..ps its a pun..
anws..ya..im jus scared..bt no matter wat..i shall try nt to disappoint my parents..dey mite jus leave anytime soon..=/
i'd like to record my tanx for my parents..tho dey nvr were n nvr will b perfect..i still do appreciate dem for some of de tings dey've done for me..tanx..
<----------->
regarding some tings ive done dis past few mnths..i relli dono wat to sae..i gt mixed feelings bout it all..fear..regret..keinsafan..n yet de insatiable hunger for more..de opportunistic lust..
wats life?

2006-08-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

well..been sme tyme since i last updated..ade lah pasal eh? so anws lots been gg on..live is..well..nt simple..neither is it soo tuff dat u shud giv up..tings like studies..very impt no doubt..bt its nt all der is..u reading dis?meant for u..u're strong..many ppl ard u to support u..back u up..dun giv up k?haix..i jus dono wat else to sae..pasal im nt a natural motivator..bt u noe hu u r to me..so if u're nt feeling well..nt doing well..den im obliged to try n bring de best out of u agn..=)
smetimes u jus hav to relax..sort tings out..set ur mind straight on de target..wat u wana get..den try n go for it..tapi go for it pon..jgn sampai mati-matian ah..follow ur limits..dun push it..nt gud for u..u noe?
bt i shal nt b a hippo..so i shal sae dat i find it hard to cope wif maths..=/
hmmm...kla..i shal cont wif neopets..gud nyte n swt drms..

2006-07-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

fristly apology to my f-ing sis for telling her to get de fuck out of my rm cos i relli feel dat i want to use de comp..2nd to all dose hu feel dat ive been grumpy to dem..wat goes ard cums ard..y de hell isnt anyone being sensitive to wat i feel?!its like noone is being sensitive to me..wtf?! does nobody noe dat im human?wif feelings?for gods sake..nw i tink de oni wae i can feel good is wen i plae soccer n lobang ppl..i luv playing soccer..it jus makes me hapee dat others r feeling miserable..cos noone givs a dam im feeling lousy..noone bothers to ask..noone bothers to b patient.wat?m i a robot?no heart no brain no nyd to eat n rest???
wat shit man..next up..we haven been studying 2geder for awhile..we haven been toking much..gues cos i cant relli tok to u much on de fone..n wen we 2geder..u owaes sae ure sleepy den u go to slp awhile..either dat or u complain of headache/stomachache..even tho i tell u to take care of urself u owaes end up saying de same tings..n wen im gg hme..i end up being alone..u rarely msg me wen im on de wae hme..so i make it a habit to slp in de bus on de wae back..try look fierce in de queue..watever..jus so ppl wont look at me n tink im a loser..well nt dat im nt..i m a loser..
n yesterdae..in skool i was kinda hapee2 cos i cudnt wait to plae soccer after pray..im burning fats ppl!!bt den i realised dat i still gt to send u hme..told u i was meeting u de dae b4..bt i oso rmmbr dat de past few fridaes i had to spend time by myself to waet for u..at least abt an hour plus2..n i didnt relli complain wen i met u..den yest u spoiled my mood..u kept complaining n sounding so grumpy on de fone..n in de bus..i seriously felt like i shud hav jus left my fone n nt check it..n den bile da smpai ruma i was very much hungry bt sebu cos i drank 1liter milk b4 gt hme..den ate ard 3-4 slices pizza..i was kinda full..bt i told myself dat i wud eat chicken rice wen i get back..i owaes eat my mums chicken rice de dae she cooks it..even if it means having to eat tenga mlm..bt ended up fried extra one piece chicken..so i ate very slowly..frm 11 to 12..den dis idiot gerl came back sae she lost wallet..wan me follow cycle to npc..i was like fuck u..i jus gt hme..den ard 12 i was stil eating..de idiot gerl sound.n i was oredi like feeling stuff to de max n sti gt smemore rice..de idiot gerl ask wat tyme want to go..i sae after i eat n rest..den my mum totlessly said dat kau cepat2 mkn pastu kayoh basikal..i immediately exploded..was she crazy??i dono..guess she didnt tink..which idiot wud eat till he's freaking full den straight awae go cycle bicycle like a few hundred metres?!?
y dun idiots tink b4 dey sae aniting to spark smeone off??if u didnt force me u wer pressuring me to go wif u..its de same.
damit ah..im gona slp soon.bt b4 dat,neopets here i cum!!
btw r we compatible??we gt sme tyme to find out..

2006-07-22T02:06:00.000+08:00

wo0o0o0owww..beeen like 3 wks since i last wrote in!!koool...anws..lots been gg on dis 3 wks..n i mean real lots..seriously..k first.i past my rtt..small ting..jus took like less den 10 mins of my time..so nw i jus hafta focus pract man..mondae wednesdae fridae..my new routine..i figured dis mite actuali be helpful..u noe..tings wud jus turn out de wae dey shud..we'll work it thru..lagik pon da nak kene start blaja seh..seriously..prelims in like 5 wks ++..n my dad wanted to bring whole family smewer..hope tak jadi..postpone to smetime else..i cud jus skip..haix.entalah..
study wise..freaking nt der yet..i noe i can do it..bt den maths is like killing me..wat wif all dose hypo testing..stats is so0o troublesme..i hate it..at least chem n physics..better abit..k i admit its bcos ive nt been gg for maths tutorials regularly..abes cam takde smangat nak buat tutorials in class..rather den sit in n get screwed by fo0ong..i prefer being smewer else..de fishball is weird..he's like becoming a nicer person towards prelims..i get a feeling we're gona get grilled for prelim's..yup..chem..hmm..der's alwaes de brighter side..=)
anws jus found out ro gt his license like last wk..so ko0l..n im still jus starting pract 2 on mondae..gota pas dis one..den aiming for twice for pract 3 n 4..den go revision..den pract 6 n 7..wooo mannnn..i jus cant wait..seriously man..bt de bike..is de prob..yep yep..bike drop frm sky??pray hard..
i wana go offf..kinda sleepy..kol brape ni??

2006-07-10T05:13:00.000+08:00

italy menang world cup!!!!!!!!!
haha..dey beat france on penalties..5-4..draw 1-1 after 120++ mins..in fact first 20 mins jer ade goal..haha..
awww mannn..wat a grt game..seriously..kla..wasnt expecting a goal feast..euro 2000 pon goal siket..bt dis game..its jus wow..italian defence at its best example..oso grt show by de french wif deir flowing football..shal i tok abit abt de match?tink so..heh..
k..de game..first 20 mins..goal..france gt penalty pasal si malouda ke abidal kene foul by materazzi..den zizou score..nice penalty ah..den awhile ltr..pirlo corner..materazzi score..header..power!! barthez takde can seh..n ribery too..cos he was short..haha.
den after dat..de game was mostly dominated by de french..bt gues de italian defence was simply too strong ah..cannavaro baek seh..capt 'fabio'lous..he's like almost de one-man defence..basically italy played counter..tapi bnyk kali break down..pasal takde org..no support..luca was grt man..kla..i mean most of de players der were like tak tau penat kinda ppl..dey ran n ran n ran n ran like nobody's business.. bt de game smehow didnt relli depend on fitness..tengok zidane suak..he's like tirelessly playing..until die head si materazzi..man he's crazy..seriously..giler..n he cried wen buffonw as toking to him..awwww..sho shaddd....
bt he shudnt hav done dat..bt i seriously tink domonech lost his wae wif de players..cos i tinnk henry wasnt injured wen taken off..i dono..bt glad france tak menang..cos dey beat brazil..bt heyy..brazil jus sucked at dis world cup..seriously.
so der u hav it..ur world cup final 'review'..haha..kla.mepek. bt yea it was worth it staying up to watch it..i noe u tak tgk..heh..
so 6 wks ltr..france vs italy agn..hu will win?oh its jus for euro qualifier..hu cares??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
nw for personal entry..gues its nw tyme to go up to gear 3 n above..well wadya expect?since i gt to jc my life's been more of a roundabout..kla..its constantly changing..so turning gear 2..safety..haha..nw da straight rd..nak naek smpai 5 pon bole..kla..smpai 4 jer..takot ah laju2..so yea..shal up gear till my A's..i can do it..duh..of cos i can..bt first isi enuf minyak..haha.takot halfwae stall..
n btw my pract..lets jus sae..im nt de fastest learner..bt im still learning..=)
so anws nw wana shower..n go to sko0l..c u..
*ily*

2006-07-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

man dis past few wks..rellllllllllliiiiiiiii rollercoaster..sme daes i can be relli happy..n sme daes..eg nw..i can b ~~f*cking~~ pissed..n wow surprisingly..its like all linked to one single person..hmmmmm.... like wats so surprising abt dat?its common rite? its like a test to c hw far u can go..dat sort of shit..
bt if dis is de kind of shit i hav to take evri few wks..den its gona b soo much less bearable..
for example...nw its abt one stupid pic.. i dono..gues cos im soo bloody open..n u're so dam stuck up or smeting..im sori..bt dats wat im seeing nw..
haix..like i said.im learning to giv in to u..bt u cud at elast try seeing tings de wae i do!!!!
helll..wat shud i care? nt like ders much btwn us..n so u sae nt yet..we shal c..
anws perhaps by de tyme i get de chance to giv u a ride..i'd b dead n looking up/down frm smewer..isit too late to back out?? i tink so..its jus so scary..n im nt toking bout riding..
swt drms..

2006-07-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

nw july..6th..time flies..n it brings uncertainty along..for example..i cant relli imagine 2 mnths ago wat happened a month ago..on dis same dae/date.. in de nt so distant past..i cant picture myself wer im at nw..honestly..sme tings dat happened to me..r jus so..amazing.. takle describe..unforeseen..seriously..
dis sundae,wat wud happen? 2-3 mnths frm nw..wat wud happen? ard june nxt yr..wer will i b? after NS supposedly,wat will i b doing? lets sae 5-6 yrs frm nw..hw r tings den? n teachers' favourite guidance question..ten yrs down de road..wer do u c urself?
wen i was young..it was simple..i didnt hav much of an expectation..nor did i giv a hoot bout anyone hu had anyting to expect of me..it was jus grt to feel dat wae..no pressure.. watever cums my wae..i jus accept it..tapi skrg..da laen.. no matter wat u do..ppl wil alwaes expect smeting of u.. n bsides..nw i hav a dream..smeting to work towards..nw i hav smeting to aim for..maebe in de past wen i aim for smeting..tak bersungguh2 ah.. bt der is dis ting..i wish im aiming for it using gps tech..more accurate..haha.bt seriously..we humans can oni plan..we dun decide.
wats life?
dis is life boy..dis is life..

2006-06-30T16:05:00.000+08:00

wokae..fridae..ard 4 pm..wat m i doing nw?sitting in my rm..reading bk n listening de usual.. agik jap nak klua..man de class is boring..if dats de level of difficulty..gosh i dun relli get it..like hw hard is dat?? seriously o lvl mcqs lebih susah ah..yg klaka still gt lotsa ppl yg ckp it was tricky n wat nt..evn my cousin yg da lame tak nmpk..he said it was stil easy to screw up de rtt..hmm..entalah eh..i gues im gona b surprised during de etrials..haha.mus i study?hmmm..dun tink so i gues..haha..
k anws ltr at nite germany vs argentina..cant waet..tapi asal kene balek lmbt seh..bingit ah.. da lame tak tengok bola..k pardon me.i watched last tuesdae was it?tyme brazil bantai ghana..n i watch france vs spain first half..tu pasal ah ngantok takle bgn pagi.. ish..i skip skool 3 tymes redi seh..im so gona be screwed.. oh well..ape nak buat?heee..
btw im quite encouraged by my ct results..cos tak blaja n i din fail badly..meaning im gona study hard for prelims n A's..gona thrash ppl hu's been studying so hard since last yr..im challenging myself.. tapi maebe pasal dis ct paper tak susah ah..=/
anws nxt wk im so gona b bz..mondae i tink gi pract..den tuesdae skola..plans after dat. rabu gg out..nt relli anxious to mit dem..i mean..its jus gona b abit weird..u noe.. like dey basically noe each othr.. oni one guy hasnt met me b4.making it 3 haven tok wif b4..so..ko0l!!
~~urrsimplymarvelous..iwanakaeiseriouslysucku..houldnnvrlettinggo..~~

2006-06-28T02:01:00.000+08:00

wen was it?10 daes ago?a period of nothingness written in dis pages..a momentary loss of words..a blackout of de non-tinking mind..
wat m i?hu m i?wats my purpose?wats de purpose of evritng else?wat abt emotions?wats being happy?wats feeling guilty?wats wrong?wats rite?wats love??
a barrage of rhetorics..hu can answer dem?none..
wat abt de past?we spose to learn frm dem?hw wen u seem to repeat it?n wat if dats nt wrong?wat if its jus diffrent?den wat is conformity?is de norm usually rite or usually wrong?wat if u're still uncertain despite all dat u noe?despite all dat u're told?despite all of ur feelings n tots?
its jus so fascinating kan?lets sae der is heaven n hell..kat tenga ade wall.so im nw sitting on de wall..i can jus manage to lie down on de top of de wall widout falling either side..if i stae,i get nower..turn rite i hell..left is heaven..but de wall is high.so i dcide to sit..either wae,wat hav i gt to lean on?nothing i gues..xcept clouds on one side n hot boulders on de other..hmm..wat do i do?
~ilu6~

2006-06-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

im in pretty foul mood..cant waet till midnite kick off..czech n ghana..oredi im kinda tired n sleepy..plus watever damn bombshell dat i gt yesterdae n todae..im in freaking shitty mood.honestly.. hmm.maebe cos im sleepy.couple dat wif de fact dat future prospects look very uncertain..haix.i dono..
i mean..if de first few mnths after A's we can survive..den de further 6 yrs wud b no prob.. well..at least i cant wait till after ns..wen i hope we wud b..u noe..doing wat we planned tadi siang.. if dat doesnt work..den seriously we're nt meant to be..
*stares into de screen*
awhile back..cant rmmbr hw old i was..i was jus sme dumb kid wif a mum hu dun trust me to go out wif othr ppl..den wen a moment came wen i had to go out often wif frens..(read ncc,soccer)..i told my mum to trust me.cos she was afraid i'd fall into bad company..dat kinda stuff..
she didnt noe dat im bad enuff by myself..n i cant possibly get any worse by being ard negative influence..tried n tested.instead im de one hu usually influence ppl in de bad wae..oso tried n tested..
i convinced her dat i wont steal,drink,masok samseng tu smue..n i relli nvr do all dat..nvr will.tho im actuali allowed de freedom to smoke (of cos bukan kat ruma)..i dun.i mean nt currently..used to.basically i gt her worries covered..she didnt hav aniting to worry abt me..except 'takot ape2 jadi kat kau'..u noe..hmm.
so end up she trusts me enuff n awards me my freedom..
n im grateful..i dun betray her trust.i try extremely hard..extra care is taken..such dat i dun do wat she doesnt wan..(tho i was under vicky for a brief period in de 2nd wk in tp..=P)
der was even awhile back wen she tot i was in a gang..cos i was smoking n gg out in de evenings n gg hme late..tho nt owaes.n i had dis suspicious look wen i said i was gona plae soccer..(dats wen she started asking wer i played..hmm)
bt nw dat i dun smoke..(at least nt until i find a wae to counter de wifdrawal symptoms..heh..) n dat i rarely go out to plae soccer..nt even once a mnth smetimes..sheeesh..so gues im kinda a free person oredi..a free person hu's disciplined enuf to noe wats socially acceptable n wats not..
so de pt is..entalah.guess i jus wana share..
btw its 2130..
n i cant wait till 20 december 2012..

2006-06-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

yeassss ahh!!argentina menang 6-0..fuuyooo..de serbs relli kene massacred seh..kene bantai on de world stage..wat utter humiliation dey received..haix.too bad..kezman kene red card lagik..rabak seh..bt seriously argentina played well..rodriguez 2 bijik, esteban,tevez,messi,crespo sorang sebijik..siol ah.tevez gol lawa seh..de grounder curled into de goal.kool.nice.seeing hw dey played todae..i tink argentina masok final..semis definitely ah..yup. anws agik jap holland lwn cote d'voire..aka ivory coast.i wan drogba out.full stop. he's grt..jus his attitude sux.his style is simply play to win..i dun like.hmm..
anws disappointment for me tmr..sundae hope nt.. mondae.haix..makes me regret saying 'ok'..serious ah.i rather stay hme blaja seh..at least gt songs bole denga. if nt..i warn u..dun try to console me..i'll b pretty upset..=/ hmm..bt dun worry..u maseh my sayang..=)

2006-06-16T09:41:00.000+08:00

yo hu's de idiot hu's been tagging my board?! the nameless..watever.
anws i hate n love world cup..hate pasal sleeping habits drastically irregular..add dat to de slight insomnia i had biler org tu takde..hmm.bt gues im pretty ok nw..so dah bole blaja betol2..yup..
anws nw listening to shadow duet..hmm..very nice song..catchy.melodic.drums r nice.n de lyrics..great.n de vocals..its amazing hw dey actuali sang dis ting..intertwining vocals..kool.superb..no wonder skydancer did quite well..
i luv metal..wif all its different varieties..
haha.last wed saw dis guy in all-black wif emperor t..tot dat was abit extreme..halo mike..lu tak panas kapa??kla..maebe lib gt aircon dats y..bt emperor..hmm.prefer behemoth slightly to dem..i dono..i still gt lots to explore on black..yup.
so anws dis 2 u D..u caught me off guard wen u asked me agn abt dat acrylic heart..u da perna tanye..tak ingat bile.bt smlm..hmm.wen i asked u to gues n so on..u looked relli upset..n i honestly tot u wer gona cry or smeting..glad u tak nanges..im sori gerl.relli tau..i mean.i jus wanted to buat suspense jer..tu mmg dnt per bende ah..heh.666.
haix..kla.gtg nw.fry sme food to eat..eat healthy ppl..woohoo..
n burning angel's gt a very nice solo!!wee..

2006-06-14T10:31:00.000+08:00

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
so much for nak tengok brazil lawan..first match dorang aku da terlepas.. man dey shud show it siang siket ah..lmbt sngt..tak fair..=/..but grt news dey won..betol tak i said dat dey wud take it slow at first?dey oni won 1-0..dats brazil..its like slow n steady wins de race dat kind.. nxt game i can safely presume dat brazil will win by a bigger margin..yup.
n france drew..HAHA!!n korea din play well..so asians n africans..no hope..maebe cote d'voire..ivory coast ade hope..dats wat i tink..hmm.
so anws u da balek..n i hope get 2 c u evri dae b4 bukak skola..missed u..
in fact nw im gona shower,den mkn n go out 2 meet u..heh..weeee..
*my poetries n watnots--fueled by pain n sorrow..*

2006-06-12T15:57:00.000+08:00

booo!! wah..scared..lame me..
hmm..gt no mood seh to write..rite nw i feel like s**tt**g..de weather so warm..im having sme headache..tapi pening pasal smlm takle tido betol ah..enta asal..bt i kept having dreams while awake, i guess..(dear..refer to diary for further description)..so nw i feel abit sleepy..kinda mo0dy pon..hmm..pms??entalah..haha.
so niwaes, mexico did very well smlm..i mean tadi.so seems like dis yr..africans gona go far..cos de weather is so0o hot.tnp reported dat in germany evrione suffering cos of de heat..haha.so i guess u can pick sme latin american teams,sme african teams..european teams,tak agak dorang leh..u c portugal,holland n england..maen cam shit.dey cudnt do much..cam cepat penat..wth.so yea..my gues is brazil retain de title..yup.no doubts..bt still nari mlm nak tengok u.s. vs czech..japan lwn australia..hmmm..dono ah..italy n ghana..probably..
btw dis stupid bangla nahbey..memekak kat bawa tingkap..cutting grass wif de dumb modified tractor..hw ko0l..not..darn it..very irritating.n oso gt dis guy kat block sebla doing sme renovation work..de drills..feel like drilling dem instead..asal takle laen ari seh?idiots.
k anw..hmm.da since thursdae..so lets c..5 daes. =/..been missing u quite bad..first ting i do wen on fone is to read ur msgs y i saved..den i'd b waiting hopefully u msg..bt its nt possible pasal u so far awae..maeb besok luse u da balek..hmm.den we get to go n blaja aite?haha..
btw wen u read de notebk..de last page ade laen siket ah..=)
hmm..gues i hafta waet for like 2-3 daes b4 i nxt c u..hope nt more..haix.
u=addictive..haha.maen2..
btw nw im listening to 'and all things will end'..avenged..gerek ah.b4 dis was sleeping peace by metallica n megadeth..man metal rox..tho i'd sae its subjective..nt all songs i like.so,yea..
hmm..kla.ciao.wana contribute to waste waters in de sewers..
btw luv u..=)

2006-06-08T13:41:00.000+08:00

1339 as of my comp clock..i hav jus finished helping my mum clean up sme stuff..n removing stuff to sell awae..semak seh.nw my dust allergy like kicking in..dangz..k anws tadi i jus signed up for world cup package..crap seh starhub..ni pon nak charge..bt heck hu cares?!asalkan dpt tengok world cup sudah..its oni like 15.75 extra..=) so yea im gona watch world cup..haha..

camne nak blaja seh? rt laen hal..den i gt my physics n chem..wana noe my timetable?kae..
15 n 16 june--class at 1850 til 2220
24 june--rgs drama nite..
15 n 16 july--gg for de etrials frm 1015 to 1205
20 july--rtt 1015

in btwn dat put in sme time to spend studying..k make it lots of time..den add in world cup..den add in time to spend wif my sayang..remove saturdae nites frm de eqn..wat do u get?? hmm..a seemingly super hectic schedule..oh ya.plus i still hav to train last min for my napfa..haix.red bull, here i come!! haha..
man..i started to miss u since yesterdae..haix.i dun tink i can sae aniting else..kalau ckp lagik pon at most i'd b repeating myself..jadi sayang,i jus cant wait for u to return..btw kan,my mum kinda gave a green lite to me..bile i tanye if i cud send u hme evri sat..but i had to add in 'tak tiap2 minggu'..so weee..i get to c u on 24th for..hmm..nearly one whole dae..ko0l..im gona b so happy..=)..n de subsequent saturdaes..even more happy i hope..heh..
hmm kla..nw i nyd to go off..miss u..bye..

2006-06-01T17:07:00.000+08:00

hai..sayang sayang..baru setakat ni,hatiku sudah tak tenteram..aku terasyik sangat memikirkan tentang mu..wajahmu sering sekali bermain di igauan..n i certainly often feel ur presence ard me..
mm.bbual cam u hantu gitu eh?haha..kidding.da more den 24 hrs u been gone..alah.setakat sebrang tambak je kan?no biggie..yea rite.i honestly do feel de 'emptiness' dat ppl usuali sae wen dey miss smeone..i dono if u feel de same..jus de sheer inability to contact u secare 'live' makes me mad,sad n tah ape lagi lah yg sewaktu dengannye..its like i noe i cant relli contact u for nw..tapi de urge to at least msg u is like time puase den u c smeone drinking..u salivate..its nearly dat bad..haix.i relli miss u gerl.
bt anws ive been a pretty go0d boy while ure awae..no smoking.gave dat up.haha..n trust me i haven been messing ard at all..=P..oh ya.btw hope u enjoying urself..=).luv u..
hmmm..a pt came to mind.for anyone reading dis hu has a deep underlying enmity wif me..for watever reasons (eg jealous or wary of me)..pls do me as well as urself a favour by nt reading my entries..cos dude wats de pt of u reading tings written by smeone u dun noe..rite?heee..*peace*
or i'll break u into pieces..=)
k gtg..i mean, i wana go..watch sme tv..wee..

2006-05-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

helo..nw is cinta tragika..hmm.hw nice..=)..anws i relli dono wat to write..as in yalah wat shud i write??hmm..btw im making a mental note..after a lvls..heh.
anws start of sko0l hols..wat r my plans?hmmm...
-i wana improve my fitness..
-i wana do lotsa revision..
-i wana go out n hope to...
-i wana plae soccer n improve..(i managed to lobang 3 kids todae..one twice..susa tau..=P)
-i wana spend more time wif u..
-i wana get sme stuff dat ive been eyeing..
-i wana challenge myself to nt smoke..heh..
-wen will i get to do smeting fun?!
hmmm..kapade para members yg,care sengaje atau tak,tenga bace ni..aku notice cam kitorang semakin split..(sori kalau cam ter emo siket)..we being guys..heck no biggie ah.tapi sme tings aku cam ingat siket2 ah..eg dick kau ckp time dulu biler form bodek tu mase..kitorang leh keep in touch ah..cam senang siket kape ah..aku ingat ah aku tanye kau camne kau leh confident jer kitorang keep in touch pas skola..abe kau ckp kitorang pandai2 ah..haix.bt nw come to tink of it..its dat kinda hard.paleng senang ah..yg rapat usuali stae rapat pasal mmg da rapat..mane2 gi pon same2..den yg tak rapat semakin tak rapat..hmm.tak paham takpe.so de ting is..i gues i can conclude dat at de end of de dae..ur pretty much on ur own..
even if u gt smeone u relli2 love..smeone u wana b wif evri second..c de pt is u wana b wif dat person evri second precisely cos u noe dat is impossible..thus in de end its still u alone in de world..weird huh?n i dun like to tink abt it..it sux.
oh btw tadi maen bola i gt kicked a few times..by sme lil kids..kau dorang paling2 10yr old..abe tendang my calf..saket seh..tapi fun ah maen ngan dorang..punyelah susah..maen pakai jeans ngan slipa getah..tapi dpt lobangkan.4 times..ko0l eh?
hmm..anws kan im getting bored.i took more den an hour to type dis out..so im gona ciao.live is hard.

2006-05-26T04:32:00.000+08:00

kau..pat stenga seh..man gp is less den 3.5 hrs ltr..kk.maths i tink i kinda fired up for it..gp.i tink i gona b sitting n staring for de 3 hrs..steam. i gues adrians gp file idea relli useful.gona start one during june..haha.lambat sekaki..takpelah..haix.
spellbound by the devil
im nt even sure y im up nw..i tink cos i purposely put de fan at no.1 plus it was swinging..jadi i was kinda warm..since wen is my rm nt stuffy??hmmm.. anws ya.so agaknye pasal tu lah i gt restless ard 3.50..i was gona wake up at 4.15..but den tot 'wth,4 n 4.10 wats de diff?'...
so nw im up..wonder wat im gona do..hmm.
exam tips frm dono hu..
-jus get it over n done wif..n while ur at it,giv it ur best..
-try not to stone..makes u lo0k stupid..
-if during exam u tink abt dose grt ppl in history n hw dey did it, forget it..cos hu wans to be like dem?..dead..
slaves shall serve
hmm..kla.enuff for nw..shal upd8 ltr abt my demise or watever..haha.ciao..

2006-05-21T15:55:00.000+08:00

yay!!haha..k.i dono wat im doing. man..common test is like nxt fridae..gp ngan maths.den followed by chem n physics..n wat m i doing?haha..im filling an entry..at de same time listening to song n reading a bo0k i pinjam last fridae..'powers of detection'..seems like a ko0l bk..yup.
abe agik jap nak maen bola..wow.florist here i come..weee...haha.man i feel kinda cheery2,hapee2 n dono wat else ah..n de weather's kinda gd oso..haha.
anws..gerl..honestly i relli cherish dis past few wks..esp dose certain days..u noe..=)..lup u..
n btw i cant wait to get my copy of unlord's schwarzwald or smeting..n oso lord of undead..i tink dey relli sound gd.gg by the so many reviews i read of dem..for whom the bell tolls..current song playing..haha.b4 dis was enter sandman.b4 dat was confined.nw is purity.by sk,pantera n dono wat else..n nw is pull harder on ur strings martyr..wee..nice song..haha..
kla..ciao..

2006-05-18T21:44:00.000+08:00

wow..barca..dey won champs league..congrats to dem.
moving on..i had my napfa todae..hmm..had de chance to get gold..i had at least a c for my 5 stns..but i alwaes knew dat my 2.4 wud kill me..since like sec two..?so den even tho nordin said dat i cud get a gold..i knew i cudnt..i jus didnt hav de substance so to speak..in my heart i was jus so glad for wat i gt for my 5 stns..but on de othr hand i felt so screwed..anuder so-near-yet-so-far experience for me..cum on lah.it nearly made me cry..man..i relli2 feel screwd..twice..damit..
but i guess it kinda provides a sense of comfort since i noe myself well..*shrugz*..
n moving on still..wat's life?y is my life like dis?n love..i mean.life revolves ard love surely..vice versa..i tink.so my million dollar question is: wat's life n wat's luv?
huever tink dey can ans..pls tag me a load..
n bout me..i gt to work on my timing..whether i can help it or not..so go ponder..

2006-05-14T17:07:00.000+08:00

oh hell..helo. wow. liverpool won fa cup.nt bad..my ass.tank god cisse gt injured..he wont be missed.haha..crap.
anws yest was de gema temasek..as far as im concerned.IT SUCKED!! well firstly..der was no darn directions as to de location of de nearest toilet..wth.good enuf i didnt piss in de sko0l.. next was de darn waitng time..it was spose to start at 1945..holy crap by 1940 i was still sweating outside de darn audi.. if im not mistaken,de whole darn show started abt 8.. so wat wer de student councilors n hu noes watever extras der wer,doing?? n gues wat?at de entrance, i was sitting on de table wer der was spose to b smeone manning it..like de usher or wat hell..den gt dis gerl ask me "r u de person in charge manning dis table?"..n i was like "of cos not!! i'd nvr b caught here.."
hey ppl..first impressions count esp if u wan it to be a success nxt yr..at dis rate..jus dream on.. dey cud well hav let us in a lil earlier..like let us settle down first..be mindful cos tings get warm n stuffy wen u gt loadsa ppl crowded ard de entrance..even wen we wer alredi late,we still had to wait a while for de idiotic goh.. smeone ltr sindir him..was it big?hmm..
anws more complains..de sound system.it sucked.de mic volume was too loud.de background sounds n songs wer too loud.for example,during de puisi part..de idiots wer practically shouting into de mic even tho de volume was alredi loud widout dem screaming..haix.idiots.wat u expect? den de actors hu not using mic..voices so soft..wth.de whole production to me was a joke.horrible joke.i mean..i expected smeting better.considering dat dey gt outside teater guys to chip in on de drama..but even de drama bit was shitty.wat?dey gt duped?hahaha..
but still..der was de humour factor.so i gues it kinda helped abit.othrwise ppl will jus rmmbr it as a sucky piece of shit by tj..haha.tank god we wer sitting in de middle.kalau tak we wud hav left b4 de end like sme ppl..
*geleng kepale*
n de whole ting aggravated my ill condition no doubt..bt anws i jus hope dat dis yr manifest will truly make dis yr gema temassek lo0k like a complete joke..a total drama production mess.
so thus slamat.. =)

2006-05-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

im relli sori gerl..i truly am..bt gues now u noe wat i dun like rite?hmm.. takpe ah.tu pasal buang tepi.. so anws seasports heats in summer..wth de sko0l tinking?! i mean..if kayaking orite ah.ni dragonboat seh..cum on lah.i dare say if i had gone in for de kayaking doubles i wud hav gotten at least top 3 ah..ni row cam nak mampos pon tak gune seh..wtf!! i rowed for no shit ah..u cant depend on de gerls for dis kinda stuff..if only dat asshole didnt go for his tennis..i so wanted to kayak.i so wanted to win smeting..nw gt nothing..repeat nothing to remind me of tp.except dat tp sux to0 much so it kinda reminds me anws..
ckp pasal ni..my common test prep..safe to sae i haven relli started..but im gona prove sme tcrs wrong..i wana do well.but at de same time.i dun wana work so hard to de pt dat i giv up evriting else jus for academic success..smetimes u can b studying hard n finally getting smewer..den suddenly u get knockedd down..u get hit by smeting bad.smeting dat u dun expect..maebe u fall very2 ill..or u jus die.u cud even get into such a bad situation wif smeone n u get hurt pretty bad emo wise..n it jus brings u down n u cant relli recover frm it..i mean, hu noes rite??
so de pt is dat i wana do well n im trying to search for an alternative method so dat i dun hav to work like extremely hard..at least dats wat i tink im doing..chill.
gona b watching nite show tmr..haix.jus hope i wont slp in de cinema..ps seat sedap per..ya rite. i jus hope i get to watch davinci code..even if its not possible to watch it wif smeone/sme ppl..
evridae in sko0l..i hear ppl complaining n stuff.like hw ppl saying dey gona fail ct rabak gile.hw sko0l is repulsing n repressive.hw sko0l life in spore sux.hw der's no real freedom to do aniting much while u're in sko0l.cos u basically gt no time for social stuff n all..den like wen u finally get smewer.ur future is kinda fixd..i mean.it sux.basically.
thus dat is y i decided to ask to make dat promise..at least dat is someting i can lo0k forward to evridae..even if all ard it sux..u dun.i believe n hope dat u can make my life more bearable..stick ard long enuf..even if jus as a fren....

2006-05-04T14:16:00.000+08:00

immanplanningimtorelliskipsosko0ldarntodaefrustrated..
kaenidunjusaskwokemeupwatsatwrongardcos11iplusdunnobutheckimfeelingsleepynw..
imdersjusrellidissorinaggygerlfeelingbutdatigtamakesfeelingmeisleepywontalmostbcomingardsko0ldeearlysameanytimetimeso0n..
at least i tink so..i duno.jus dat been feeling so sleepy in de morning..likecanthellgetupfor sko0l ard5.30..stillsleepysfter6.30..continuetoslptillafter9..inoedissuxbtirellidunhafadarncluewattodo..
maebeicantrytosleepearly..shudtrytoknockoffat10latest..butgttomuchtotinkoftoslpsoearly..
sowatdoido??someoneplshelpme..ohplsgodhelpme..nimgettingintoallsortatroublecosofdis..
nimsurelotsapplrdamnirritatedwifmecosofdis..allicansaeissori..=/..ntdatiwanadodis..morelikeigetto0sleepy..
cantwakeupontime..wayoutatime.gosko0llatedie..nvrgosko0losodie..soeitherwaysidie..fun.
itsijusdunosowatstresfultodo..dotdotdot.wialtoeveverituis..

2006-04-30T14:30:00.000+08:00

happy belated 18th bdae to me..luv one luv all..

2006-04-27T05:30:00.000+08:00

morning..firstly congrats to arsenal n barca..champs league final date..smetyme in may..ronaldhino played well i tink..shevy..nah..he jus cudn't get de ball..i mean..his form wasn't relli der for a few mnths redi..at least.n overall..barca played better den ac.no doubts.so der u go..
secondly..i luv animax!!at last dey show flame of recca..wo0ho0..kla..i watch like at least twice b4 tyme pat axn dulu..dat was like 5 yrs back?hmm..so its grt ah.get to watch agn.way ko0l..incentive to get home b4 1830..heh..
third..tick tock tick tock..election day coming so0n..cant wait..nt dat im voting or aniting..jus dat my bdae kinda linger on de same day..so does winsons n weixiangs..ko0l.vote for me!! haha..im gona press for de sony mp3..n of cos satae..haha.
fourth..i love u..
fifth..i finish reading a bo0k i jus borrowed.kinda ko0l story.
sixth..i love metal..esp dose melodic ones like
-and so0n the world will cease by amon amarth
-human fates by kalmah
-wings of a butterfly by him
-nymphetamine overdose by cradle
-n so many others!!!!!!!!!
seventh..im gg to sko0l in bout a few minutes i hope..so won't b late.n im gg pe.ko0l..
last but not last..i love u.da ckp eh?hahaha...

2006-04-25T20:42:00.000+08:00

tick tock tick tock..
due to technical difficulties..
operations were halted..
tick tock tick tock..
18..legal age ye?haha..
help me find one..hee..

2006-04-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

saga seeds!!kat mane seh nak dpt?!kalau tak dpt saga seeds by 9 april..hmmmm..laen bende leh?haha..man physics test was like okok tho my okok is actualli crap in disguise..gp test was horrendous..de soccer match abt to kick off..hmm..so much stuff..n im gg hme siang seh nari..da a few days balek lmbt..skali2..wah.cam co0l ah.balek tido..=) tido mimpi bes..(harap2)*winks*
no more lies..i feel kinda grt actuali..de pressure nt dat bad..hmm.wkends..slp.chill.dono go wer..no comp.haix.ppl walking ard me..lo0king.my fren printing smeting..struggling wif de printer..haha.man..life is......i dono..to0 many diff words..if oni,at least hypothetically,we get to live de rest togeder dreams..dats wat dey r..jus drms..

2006-03-29T22:36:00.000+08:00

2247 on my clock..wa ngantok..tapi wa mau tilo mcm tak bole..wah..wa sua lama tak jumpa sama wa nya members..itu darrell tanya sama wa amacam budak2 bodek, wa tak tau mau ckp apa..wa pikir mau ckp dorang orite..tapi wa sindilik tada orite..wa pon sua lama tak bbual sama dolang..talak jumpa sama dolang..mana wa tau?!
man..i relli need to like at least get to playing soccer wif dem..siol ah..boring seh.smetimes my wkends can b jus staying at home watching tv or depan comp.. oredi i deicide to giv up smoking..dono y dat tyme i smoke like seriously it tasted kinda bad..relli dono y..maebe it was time i quit for awhile.. anws besides dat i need to lose loads of weight man..like a whole damn lot.. being fat equals to being bullied.losing weight means gaining de rite to brutallise dem back..hee..=)
btw i wana tank vishu for being my sparring buddy..othrwise i'll be stagnant..
oh ya..btw dis wk..haix.pretty bad..dun wana get into details..k im relli sori but ders jus sme tings dat i relli need to n want to say.. kalau u sense dat im angry dis past few days..memang ah.basically pasal takde time to relli tok tings out wif u.. n oso its like u de kind..cam wen sme tings not rite..u dun seem to acknowledge it or smeting..cam u try to ignore..k i dun relli noe hw to explain.. u r still like..i dono..kinda like still in ur own fantasy world..im sori if im being to0 judgemental..but dis is wat i feel..maebe im being stuck in my own fantasy world..n im jus putting all dis crap onto u.. man im jus relli sori.i noe dat since knowing u ive made ur life more complicated..maebe even more miserable..haix.im sori..tho i crap ard.i dun wen i apologise..esp to u..haix.
well dats dat..n wow i jus gt a smewat ko0l pic to lo0k at..=)..ciao. luv u..luv all.

2006-03-24T21:11:00.000+08:00

time is,according to my clock,2110..im relli tired..wif many reasons to feel so..wel,firstly,slept at ard 0030 yesterday..but even den..cudnt relli sleep..i jus kept tinking to myself..haix.if oni ppl know..but wat use?! dey dont..fate shall decide..
anws..gt to sko0l abit late cos de bus was like super late n totally out of schedule!! so naseb tak lambat sngt..den in sko0l gt spe.first spe dis term..since we gona start wif napfa traing n some soccer..i decide to come for spe dis term..ko0l.. so spe ran abit..da lame tak lari so now leg dun feel comfy..besides i played soccer during mt..nt like i relli played..its been so long since i relli played..u noe de kind wer pride is at stake?? man..
second..cos today was a boring day, is a boring day, will end a boring day..trust me. but anws still im tinking..even den nobody noes for sure..not even i am certain now..like i ever was..?
next..haix..ok.actually.. i tink dis is all a game..a game wer im bound to lose..even if given all de time in de world. so de pt is..isnt it better to start a new game?? rather than wasting most of my time playing a stagnant game wer im jus waiting for de final blow?! makes sense doesnt it? all things will end so y not we jus start a new game n put de old one aside?den wen ure redi u cud jus cum back n continue wer u left off.. dat sounds ko0l kan?hmm..*lo0ks down*
time flies fast.. i jus hope sme tings dat flies wif it..doesnt fly backwards..it hurts.. seriously..but sme tings seldom spoken will remain unchanged..pinky promise..

2006-03-22T01:16:00.000+08:00

wat de heck!? im still awake..n apparently haven done aniting fruitful..fo0l..de last time i woke up was ard 1200++..nw im relli sleepy. tapi takle tido cos apparently im tinking to0 much..tanx ah fizz for ur 'concern'..heh. hmm..sko0l.tot tk was one ting..but tp.kinda same..maklumlah..tp is lyk a tk affiliate. so its not surprising dat stuff frm der gets carried here.. come to tink of it..its hard to get ard unnoticed biler dikenali ramai..haix.btw didnt go sko0l on 210306 cos apparently i slept late..due to apparent reasons..n so i cudnt get up.my head wass heavy..current song is dance of death..so i tink my head shud fyl lighter tmr..
toking abt lighter.i tink my lighter da sort seh..but i shant buy a new one..ada rokok tak ada mancis..so takya isap..yea.
oh ya..before i forget..de beach is great at nite.cloudless but starless.but even tho it was 2100++.. it was kinda warm ah.plus de occasional chatter frm othr ppl.haix.wish u wer der..=)
well im gg off to never2land..wana wake up at 0345..ciao..

2006-03-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

min, u shudnt hav said wat u did..at least not in its entirety if u had no intentions of telling me de whole goddamn shit..if i noe de whole story, maebe aku tak marah..tapi ni kau, da bilang aku ni itu ni itu..pas tu kau takmo sambong..u cud hav at least fucking tel me y u said shes like dat..nw im pissed cos not only did u not tell me de whole fucking story..u even said shes bla3..wtf!?! cum on lah ppl..dis kinda stuff.man i hate rumours..even wen i dun spread dem, i becum part of one.. eh i need help wif dis..seriously.othrwise ppl r gona get hurt..im fucking serious.

2006-03-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

man..3rd week into my ill health.lets c..wer do i begin?..hmmm.. k i shall start at de start of de one wk brk.. saturdae..woke up ard 12 wen i gt a kol frm my alarm clock..den went to nus open house..alas perut b4 went out..ate half bowl laksa.it wasnt delicious.den tot wana eat wif hafiz dulu..den de othr 2 tot we were being unfair..but heyy..sape suro kol last minute?..pas tu suro reach der by 1.30..abes tu diorang jugak yg lambat..ape seh..nw dat is unfair..=P. den after dat me n hafiz left ard 4..tot wanted to eat b4 gg hme..abe da kat buona vista mrt nak makan ape seh? so we decided to go bedok n eat b4 balek..skali pulak hujan lebat..we gt down at bedok den to0k bus hme..so ended up i didnt relli eat aniting frm 12 plus till dat tyme.. den ard 7 plus went to my sis house..sampai kol 10 plus after sending my fren hme..b4 went out didnt reli eat cos gt no appetite..den reach sis house.eat rice wif de lauk she co0k. slept ard 2. sundae morning..eat baked beans fried wif scrambled eggs..n of cos roti.actuali wanted to eat more but den scared later stomach ache..den gedabak- gedebuk we went out ard 1 plus i tink..den reach sembawang decided to stay wif my cousins..so de rest went to wdlands for de kenduri..den me n my cousins stayed behind..great. we played wif ball kejap.den went arcade!! wo0ho0..like so lo0ng since i last stepped into an arcade..but den i didnt reli play cos i wanted to bajet..haha. den ate at mac b4 gg back..de meal wasnt worth de value..=/ den went back yishun ard 7 plus i tink. within an hour of reaching der i tink, i ate rice wif lauk.. mondae.breakfast eat mi goreng black pepper..haha. den ard 4 lidat went hme wif sister n de two kids..lets c.i dun rmmbr eating wen i gt hme.. tuesday.intresting day..reli intresting. morning breakfast at mac wif my fren.didnt relli hav appetite..so i gav her my hashbrown since she lo0ked like she cud eat a cow..haha.sori..=P den we went to sko0l..i tot wanted to study awhile oni while waiting for fana..den kocok came.so didnt wana go off der n den..it was ard 2 plus wen my stomach gave sme weird signals..went toilet vomit.out comes my big breakfast..den felt giddy.mab0k.cudnt even study..i was like 'damned'.. after awhile vomit agn..dis time oni de acid juices came out..it was thick.tasted horrible.yuck..den after dat my switch gt turned off.. cudnt do no shit man..i practically fainted wen i slept.didnt realise i slept for 1.5 hrs..oni gt up wen der was sound..haix.den had to wait for de gerlss b4 we left.. reach hme ard dono wat tyme..along de way i felt jus like lying down..sleeping.in de bus felt like vomitting..wth. reach hme told my mom.den ate medicine. den spose to wake up ard 7.30 eat sme fo0d..apparently i oni woke up at ard 9 plus.. dat was wen i vomitted on my tilam!! dono y..suddenly woke up abe muntah..den after my parents did de cleaning up..my dad wanted to send me hospital for sme check up cos maseh lom baek betol2 since two wks ago.. but den i sae no nyd ah..cos i hate gg to hospitals..=/ n mak was reli worried n she kept asking 'asl tak tau balek siang2 tadi??'.. 'asl tak talipon kakak kau suro amek bawak balek tadi??'.. n a few more..haix..i didnt noe i was gona b dat sick agn..it seemed so sudden..wth.so i tink tmr lidat i can start on my studies agn..well.ciao..

2006-03-11T02:38:00.000+08:00

im still coughing..smoking kills.HAHA!! k dat was sarcastic..anws.yup.wats gg on wif ppl?wif de insecurities..read abt de vj n tp guy.dey went parachuting widout parachutes..get de idea?i may be insensitive wen times are hard.but hey ppl..jus gt a grip lah.i mean u dun c ppl in iraq for example do an olympic dive frm de 13th floor rite?! dats jus insane..try living in sme african countries..dey gt no tall buildings.watcha gona do?? bury urself?? cum on..dis hardships..all a test.perhaps a series of tests..pass or fail..i dono if it matters..seriously..
but heyy gerl.dis is meant for u..i noe wat u feeling.im sure u feel like letting go but u dowan to..dats go0d.i noe its hard.sme have it harder.but i noe ure brave..wat u do..u gt ppl all ard u.sme jus more apparent den othrs.u noe dey all care for u n love u loads.me included.u gt aniting to confide.u jus go to smeone..u can come to me.u can go to anyone.smetimes im worried bout u but i dun sae it.cos i noe u can very well take care of urself.but smetimes ppl fail.dats de reality.if dat happens.i promise at least i will be der.not as a death prophet of cos.not as an angel either.u can make me wat u wan me be..it doesnt matter.i promise if u get into any shit watevr.if u want help.if u nyd smeone.im gona b der.of ocs minding travelling times n so on.but yea.i'll be der.serious..lotsa luvs frm one to anuder..
n here jus a part of sme lyric..
sekiranya aku diberi kuasa sakti
akan ku pedatikan kuda sembrani
akan ku sambarmu dari naga bernafas api
dan ku bawamu ke hujung pelangi
..haiz.i wish i cud come up wif sme wise sayings abt life.but i cant.not aniting in general anws.so i guess i mite as well sleep pretty so0n.perhaps tink.i did no tinking yesterday..perhaps now i can tink a little. perhaps it mite hurt to noe..no regrets. =). now off to neverneverland..luv u.

2006-03-09T23:39:00.000+08:00

man as of dis pt of time im still sick..however, id like to congratulate a coupla parties..for reaching de next stage of whatever it is..in no particular order...[the teams who gt to de champs league quaters]..[yjr frm 05s29 tho i dono him personally..ps: its an achievement man!!]..[those hu getting to anuder stage in their watever relationships (eg boy-girl,boy-boy,girl-girl) or even jus in frenship]..[de few ppl hu i swear id kill if im allowed to..u noe hu de moment i punch ur face..as in relli punch till ur bone breaks..dun tempt me]..k so i tink dats done for de congrats.. nw more to rcent stuff..my ear i tink abit sort ah.like gt smeting inside or wat.cam ade bende tapi takde bende ah.can be painfully irritating at times..damn.i shall not ask y.. well.in a few minutes da fridae.last dae skola.term 1.one wk brk.blaja.giler.chill.unstable mode?tanak.not fit enuf yet.wow.jus rmmbrd de black fire dragon.nice.balek skola.aku tanak ade hal.org kasi aku hal.org tu aku bantai.tanak kasi muke.buang karen.nw ive been having low tolerance for sme ppl.wana act big wif me?wan me respect u jus for ur fucking age?not wif me.u respect me.i respect u.instead of.i respect u.u dun respect me.dat kinda shit is out.i will jus ignore.in fact im doing it in sko0l now.i will look at u.wif spite.if eyes cud kill.u'd be dead.u ppl wud b dead.trust me. but as for now.i wana sleep..

2006-03-05T04:23:00.000+08:00

ahhh..forgive me for i have sinned..=/.. anws, man ive been sick since last mondae..had diarrhoea since last sundae.went doc on mondae.gt med including paracetamol..duh..for fever..which i insisted i didnt hav at dat tyme.n two days mc.den wed still nt well but went sko0l.thursday most hyper so i sort of noe im gona be sick pretty so0n.fridae fever.no mc.but gt de paracetamol plus some running nose med i gt a few wks back..tink abt 1.5 mnths back..actuali nw coughing oso..man dis is intresting..questions floating in my head..haihaihai..
but hu cares?! ni da last wk.nxt is one wk brk..gg sis hse.tink can go der slp one two nites ah..chill out abit.haha..den perhaps get to do sme recreational stuff dat i dun usually get to do during normal sko0l time..haix.eg SOCCER, POOL..man its like so long ah..soccer esp..=/ but i tink tmr i gg ah..its seriously freaking long since i last kicked ball at smeone..hmm. n btw i jus rmmbrd dis..i almost had rashes todae after so0 long.WOW.mus be de cuacer..n ya.me getting dengue is quite likely cos firstly i have been bitten by aedes mozzies a couple of times..n my ruma gt alot of nyamok ah..so ya..im not joking ah..shrugz..
well now is close to 5 am.sleeping so0n..but before dat..i mus learn to realise dat nt evriting is concerning me nor shud be of concern to me..tings happen..bigger tings all ard me..even small ones dat i nyd nvr be a part of..all tings happen for a reason/many reasons..im not to noe wat i dont noe..cam step pandai gitu..but den alwaes de fear of de uncertain creeps up to me..haix..

2006-02-28T14:08:00.000+08:00

ahh..at dis pt of time..im at hme.tak skola..sick.wee..but den i dun get to study pasal time saket nothing gets in..tings go out..hmm.. anws,been reading sme bo0ks. the one im currently reading is,well,okae..quite nice to a certain extent..yep.its de gold bo0k.. oh ya..tinking bout dat.i jus rmmbr'd wanted to sae dis..ade org tu da start denga avenged siket2 seh..warmness on de soul + i wont c u tonite part 1..haha..luv u gerl..=) tho id still sae warmness is not relli a nice avenged song..haha..
n agn i jus rmmbr'd de hod el..mak oi..i wanted to pae for de prom tingy lah.n was late.it was last fridae i tink..den my fren sae he bz.so i tot heck mite as well pae on mondae.den wen wanted to pae he say ah wat crap panjang lebar..den i was like okae..*raises eyebrow*. n he was like 'wat do u mean ok? u shud be saying ...................' n i was like okae..*nods*.. den he replied 'do u get wat im saying?' dlm hati 'cos not u idiot..u mak saleh tok so fast hw i understand sia?!' so moral of story is i tink i hafta pay during de 2nd round of collections..hah. so dats de end of dat part..
n nw smeting new crept to my mind..issues on trust.frenship.reliance n dependance on dat smeone/sme ppl..as im typing dis im listening to second heartbeat..de golden bo0k has smetings abt trust n frenship to0..so i tink dis gona be my new themes for de moment..=)
i tink i gt de lyrics in my blog..like de chorus..so yea..dats it. slamatz..

2006-02-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

last wk i predicted dat dis wk is gona be a bit boring..dat nothing very bad gona happen.n dat der may be a few surprises..well.i tink im wrong.. firstly my life has been roughly dis intresting for like hw long?seriously my life is boring..n i hardly complained.n i tink my definitions of very bad da tukar since last wk..n de surprises..surprise2.not relli aniting go0d to come by..wth. im seriously bored by stuff..even ppl. makes me rmmbr. dey say de go0d die young..im evil..?!? sko0l is so damn boring..n its not like im smart or even academically inclined..nak buat ape seh.nw im stuck herre.. change topic.barca beat chealsea at stamford bridge 2-1!! hw ko0l was dat?very..=) reds lost madrid lost milan drew bayern..wth?! btw to dis particular person..u tink ure so go0d.i tink ure to0 go0d.n ive nvr kol u a bitch b4 hav i?doubt it..no ones done dat i tink..so ill b de first..*hahahahaha* wat m i saying..i dono.fark u if ure still tinking.. btw slow chemical by finger 11 nice song..makes me feel like de machine..de monster..ahhh..feels go0d..=) btw my feet aches to kick a ball a de wall..my train of tots da crash.nw de survivors in hotair ballo0ns..???n it blew up.n dey burn to hell..=)..can i be like carrie n kill all hu went to de prom?yummy..taste de blo0d.. sme of my classmates.dey'd b de first.im invisible. followed by sme ppl i noe oni by names.u r invisible. n den der will still be some hu ill erase wif mix feelings..i cant c u.u cant c me. wat go0d is dat?vwery..im sori sme tings dun happen to sme ppl wen dey want it..but jus dun take it out on me..or punish me for it.trust me i wasnt der wen u prayed for it..

2006-02-18T18:11:00.000+08:00

at dis point of time..my minds buzzing..its like two weeks alredi of some pain,some suffering,some tears..so wat a way to start my saturday..tanx to some ~~damned~~ souls..im sorry.. we are humans.as humans we do not noe by nature wat is rite n wat is wrong..not born dat way..n wat is a human to judge anuder..??we are individuals dats y we hav our own set of rules..we cant live 100% by de rules set upon us by others that are no better off den we are..no human shall damn me jus bcos i refuse to listen..y dun evri single human jus stop n tink? i c no harm in doing dat.. k dis nxt part is abit personal..well u keep saying tings behind ur mother's back.dat is not allowed..i sae it directly to u n u sae dat is being rude.n u diss me by saying dat when i had de chance to go for religious studies i didnt want to..n now i dont noe wats wrong frm wats rite..i dun mean to be rude agn, but dats btwn me n God..for further explanation refer to earlier part..personally i dun tink othr humans no wat dis family is like..which is y smetimes i relli crave for my fantasy to be true..sobs.haix.dis troubles me much..but hu cares..im syukur dat at least i hav some ppl to lean on(meaning u, dear..=)..) anws frm below tanx in part to a7x..

de damned seeks de light of his saviour
de demented seeks de comfort of his dreams
i seek de light of my creator
to liberate me from dis nothingness of a dream

don't acknowledge right, just dwell on wrong
this spot in hell's where i belong
i've come so far, it's been so long
don't know why it started or where it came from

2006-02-15T01:47:00.000+08:00

kicking de ball ard makes me forget my probs..aku,bola,rembat,bingit...wat else??haix.. k takpe.anws announcement!!hafiz kene rembat ngan hantu!!or jus sme unseen guy..haha. hmm..mondae wat did i do?oh ya..played soccer.as in kick de ball ard.kool..i tink my kicking has improved a whole load since sec 3..yup. =) man..mondae was tiring.balek tido.pas tu siang lak ade org maseh bingit ngan aku..perhaps its jus guys wen dey like to say 'wat did i do?'..oh fuck u guys..hmmm.so now i have to let it be for awhile.n hey my go0d fren asyek remind jer wat i did last2 yr..cam salah aku lak.aku ckp dats jus how i felt wat..bukan die ckp.so either kau samdol atau kau bodo.. _l_ n so stop saying dat i mite do it to u noe hu..anws todae even more tiring.maseh lom tido..i dono y.again kicked de ball ard.stink myself up.went tk.de sko0l sux.tings change.some teachers die redi or smeting ah..met chee.lidat oso kena lecture.but i appreciate ur concern ah.den sonia yeo.anuder one.haix.but okla.considering din c her.oni her 2 frens at kfc i tink.lucky dey dun recognise me.nahbeh.but hw cum sia?sko0l finish redi meh?hmmm..well lastly.kalau u reading dis, my girl,dear,intan,berlian,watever..frens forever (at least) ?? =)

2006-02-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

demention has set in..i dono wat to say..honestly..oh wer do i start?.. wel, ive made up my mind to retain cos der is no possibility of me making it past de A's..i dowan to scrape thru n den suffer.so much for ikot members..cam sial.shud have gone poly..its a much safer bet. but at least for me life has mostly been a gamble..y den is gambling wrong?i dono.. anws a recount of a gamble i lost..aka wrong choices set by uncompromising situations.. hmm.firstly id like to say gd bye to all ppl ive known in sko0l.nt dat im leaving sko0l..jus leaving u guys to join de j1s. kol me fucking pessimistic i dun care..n i dun care if u hate me for dat.anws im gona miss all..happy n sad hu noes.. bt lastly i tink, repeat tink, dat dat was de best time for me to sae my hearts fill..im sori but i cant lie if i dun want to..n im not psychic i admit but i tink u to0k it kinda hard or smeting.. n for wat u did, i over reacted perhaps..im not angry. jus pretty much very confused.. guess u were not in de rite state of mind for aniting like dat at all..n im relli sori. i am. for getting u so into dis kinda shape..for making u cry..n for watevr othr shit i did. but seriously i meant wat i said. even if there is no vice versa..im jus syukur i gt u..at least as a fren.. when can i c u smile again?

2006-02-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

could i hav missed sko0l jus for dis??? if its realisation dat wants to sink into me..i dun tink i hav to go thru all dis damn ting..its tiring.its making me sick.. nw i noe y sme ppl say humans r weak..humans r weak bcos of dey're emotions.feelings.feelings dat nyd not b..haiz.semakin hari semakin i dono wat..lets c.kalau nxt wk u get ur o's n u fail english..u're outta here. den ya im gona lose a gud man n i wont hav any close frens ard..but i doubt it will happen. aku rase kan..im de one hu's gona be outta here. n den we'll c wat fuck ppl giv wen im gone. probably none.. so before dey get a chance to not give a fuck abt me..i wont giv a fuck abt dem.sweet? definitely!! wish i can b brutal evridae n not pretend im a nice guy or aniting..its tiring.dis game of deception..=/ all de shit abt pretending to care..being sweet..or plain giving a fuck.. its like tak bermadai.tak bermanfaat.tak masok akal. I dun get aniting in return. wat de fuck?! isnt is suppose to be wat goes ard cums ard?? which wise asshole said dat? dat shit doesnt happen to me..nope.my being nice to othrs is like fucking a rock wall..it hurts me where it hurts most..i bcum bitter after im sweet. hmm..enta ah.malas..haix.ignorance is bliss..de days ahead i shall try to make unbearable to some..even more so for those de days after..haix.. luv all.fuck all.may we all die in piss..

2006-02-01T00:41:00.000+08:00

ahai..burung hantu nye kaki saket..=/ tadi maen bola..burung hantu berat takle terbang..tapi boleh tendang bola..haha. man im crapping..dreaming.feigning ignorance of de on-goings of de world ard him..tankfully his fantasy did not resurface in time of turmoil. wat wif fire n black wings??hmm..fantasies.dats jus wat dey r.tho buried in me is hope dat it shall one day be fulfilled..lost hopes.
dreams of greatness
rites of victory
feel my blood's warmness
bear my heart's fury

cries of sadness
end of tyranny
through retreating darkness
will this end the story?

2006-01-30T21:32:00.000+08:00

changed my layout..avenged rulez!!!metal rulez!! okae enuf bout dat..nw lets c..saturdae n sundae..tiring day..did lotsa stuff for my standards.plus my becomingly-more-routine nite romps..haha. need to excercise wat..so no complaints.besides its fun..can make new frens like some 40 plus yr old ppl..haha.dey r ko0l ah..hope get to meet dem more often. hmm..not only dat but oso can c dat at nite bedok is,well,a kinda hotspot for bad influences. read youth gangs n de likes..like i c many malay kids wif angkongs smoking n drinking..not dat i dun shmog..but dey r so totally not my kind of ppl..wattodo..?i trust my parents n dun wish to betray their trust..=). anws sundae was kinda relaxing actually except dat i was feeling sleepy mostly.but ended up slept late so dats y i woke up late.a point for my apparent lack of punctuality..sori eh *dear*..haha.like real. hmmm..dis wk or nxt.get results.wats it gona b??disappointment?despair?demention?dreading my potential demise..or will it b sme kinda salvation?de kind dat lifts my spirit while listening to de melody of oblivion..? i relli dono..much is left to be discovered.but non of de soul searching..
so time it is to bid farewell
may u not face de wrath of hell..

Journey to the end of the day,
Come the fire-fly, come the moon;
Say a prayer for God's good grace
And sleep with love upon your face.

2006-01-27T16:59:00.000+08:00

yeah..nari tak gi skola.haha..i slept early woke up late.i tink my clock sort ah..dats y. anws stayed at home n found out some stuff bout certain black/death bands..eg venom, mercyful fate, opeth, celtif frost n dimmu..wels.. venom is not to my liking cos its very early black.. not even as heavy as early maiden..mercyful fate..very good for an early band. opeth constantly changing..n i prefer deliverance to damnation. latest album nt heard yet..cf is so-so.. n lastly dimmu very melodic..i wonder if dey're more melodic death den black.after all dey did contribute to chatiment de la rose..hmmms. anws holiday plans spoil abes..guess i nyd to ask ard hu wants to go out wimme..been at least a mnth since last watched show..but nw gt wat nice2 show? hmmms.. btw studying part..pessimism creeping in..future always uncertain.duh. but will i remain de same as i was?? i mean like n extra yr wif ppl u dun relli like..?n de ones u like..?dun mention abt dem..haix. s0o lo0ong..luv one luv all..=/

2006-01-26T00:08:00.000+08:00

hmm..i love..wow.seems lyk nowadaes im often so sleepy n lethargic.tak cukop tido..so im taking a break frm sleeping to add dis lo0ong entry in.. hmm.soccer in a while..gona watch i hope.besok kalau tak tido pat skola pon naseb..haha. anws been gg hme a lil later den usual dis past few days..dono don ask.noe jus smile. been doing maths..at dis rate im gona be quite prepared i hope.. but physics.im still getting nower. esp wif de stuck up ASSHOLE..dat FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT..fucked up fishball.. hes jus fucking annoying tempts me to jus whack shit into his face.. takle lebih kurang.its like i fucking sweat most of de time.. like im to blame.asshole..teach us for almost a year n he doesnt fucking notice a shit abt me except dat he jus wants to make me miserable..damn him.make such a fucking BIG deal for me unbuttoning de top button of my shirt..u c?nt only did he make so much fucking noise wif de damn mic.. he even blame us for coming late for his class..wen he took like more den 5 mins trying to fuck me up..damn him. he fucking doesnt noe me.. i'll make him lay a finger on me..den im gona simply lash back out. suits de asshole..fucked up fishball.. sori for de excessive use of obscenities but im jus so pissed. 5 mins was all it took. anws nw dat im done shitting on him..lets c. well i met two ppl yesterday n todae. smlm pas maen bola kat watercooler..a j2 chinese guy wanted to refill waterbottle.i drinking in front der so being me i said "please" n i moved aside.he said tanx den made a brief chat den intro himself..tak ingat name.i intro..so new 'fren'. den tadi kat bawa blok nga isap met a pakcik waiting for his fren.tok awhile.he took 1 stick.i had 2..nw im left wif 4.den after dat we said gdbye.he hoped we'd meet agn tmr..ko0l. gt to noe 2 ppl in 2 days..=) having frens evrywer is a go0d ting..i hope..haha =) anws preparing for a late and tiring day..so nt gona be typing out de partial lyrics i wrote. okae..so bye. luv one luv all..=)

2006-01-19T19:47:00.000+08:00

at de time of dis entry, i am a wee bit unstable..jus a tiny bit. i tink. cos i feel sleepy n very light headed. almost like dat drunk feeling..like ive been drunk..cheh..hmm.. nw lets c wat i wanted to sae.... okae got it. i tink der is smeting freaky gg on here. der is dis freaky kinda invisible psychic link btwn me n dis othr human.. de events dat occur, my gut feelings, my tots, my plans, my most tings..so freakily similar.. tried telling my fren bout dat but my fren being de kind he is..well he's gt no comments. n i wont tell de othr human of cos.. not dat it wud continue for long after dis i presume.. bt anws its freaky..it makes me dis sick..literally. bt den agn i hope im jus imagining tings.. i relli do. btw its amazing dat i haf yet to utter a single vulgarity in dis entry..considering my semi conscious state. N anws i tink i relli like maths..giv me time..giv me questions..not too hard ones..i'll return answers. i nyd smeone to help me wif physics..as in pas skola.de person gt tys..cos i definitely wont bring mine to sko0l..but hu? i relli nyd to start on physics. n chem..takya cakap. ppl still tink im dat good even tho my knowledge is irrelevant to our syllabus..haix. lastly of cos..shud i stop smoking like forever??dat is long..n besides smoking can benefit in sme sense..hmmms. tag me if u tink i shud stop..
i luv u, all
but in de end we'll all die..

2006-01-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

so much for studying..more like studying minus stu.. =) anws i tink tmr definitely mus study..rite? n oso put to effect my plans which was foiled for de 2nd time in two days.. y do i fail to carry out my plan?cos i enjoy playing de game..?! its so fun playing along for de sake of playing along..wtf.. so now i found some lyrics which i tink r nice.. btw i found my ball liao.. n some unusual stuff happen in canteen today..like 'accidentally swinging my hands into a j1 girls ...' cos i didnt noe where it landed except it felt like de skirt..damn.n cikgu fahhhten is kewt..kewt as in kewt..not kewt..u noe..?nvr mind.. n btw my strawberry n stormking almost masok angin redi.. anws as i lay dying relli got some nice lyrics.. so dis frm 'through struggle';

Only through struggle have I found rest
With a piece of me taken away
I begin to understand
Hollow out this machine like chest
With its gears that turn to make me feel
And assembled thoughts that fade away
Remove from me
This deception that I called love

~~make piss not war~~
to u 2625 262454

2006-01-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

wellx.. poetry..dark poetry.. words wif dark intonations..dark meanings.. i jus seem to like dem..dono y.. take for example dis nick..found it on a death metal cover frm cant rmmbr which band.. if translated to english frm french.. well u get smeting intresting.. =) ..anws, i tink dat i wud tok abt sme of my fav stuff since im bored n tmr is Py test..lets start wif metal..i enjoy listening to metal..prefer black over death.. some bands i listen to; trivium, avenged, metallica, maiden, iced earth, slipknot, cradle, cob, behemoth, emperor, slayer and as i lay dying.. anyone wif unlord cds can lend me??? besides dat..i like to look for nice2 lyrics to get ideas for poems..so dat explains it i guess?? n totally out of topic but smeting dat jus came to realisation..i wonder y when smeone having pms im de one acting all weird? smetimes i jus sae dis n dat n watever lah..of cos nt in front of sme ppl ah. but jus now in canteen was totally pms kind..screamed "~~pkmak~~" at de top of my voice..hmmm.. =) ..ape nak buat? feels like almost evriting gg weirder..almost ah. filling my lungs wif toxic ash..hmmms. kla.. leave a verse behind...
(courtesy of Abarat)

A soul of water,
A soul of stone.
A soul by name,
A soul unknown.

The hours unmake
Our flesh, our bone.
The soul is all;
And all alone.

2006-01-07T01:20:00.000+08:00

Basking in sorrow
Lusting for pain
Atoning for my sins of tomorrow
Crying alone till i'm sane
Killing my soul for love

Hurt and tattered
Earning my retribution
Abomination, my soul is battered
Readying for my demention
Through death i shall love

2006-01-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

orite man..baru smlm wa buat topical test physics n maths..0k ah.. maths paper can pass unless gt MAJOR careless mistakes.. physics not t0o sure pulak..cos honestly i din relli study..=) talking abt studies n retention makes me sick.. find solace and guidance in religion..hmmm.. why are some ppl s0o gullible or t0o ignorant or jus t0o innocent?..n btw im not relli sarcastic am i?..nah dun tink so.haha.. kla..lazly, tanx n sori to whomever it may concern n wants to be concerned...

2006-01-02T00:58:00.000+08:00

Forever your eyes will hold the memory
I saw your heart as it overtook me
We tried so hard to understand and reason
But in the one moment I gave my heart away
The perfect breath where my mind lay beside me
And all I knew is what had overtaken me
With no explanation
I am comforted by my inability to understand
When I wake from this dream will you still be here?
Will your smile still open my heart
And leave me trasparent?

2006-01-01T02:58:00.000+08:00

aiseymen..cudnt update before 1 jan..damn.wattodo? was watching man u beating bolton 3-1..duh.haix.. okae.so now my maths slightly ard average above average ard der..tinggal physics..chem shud be no prob ah..gg by de way tings are..wat else??hmmm...guess ~~black metal n satanism~~(as in defined by de human strengths, will and power) played its part.so too did my prayers.. of cos lots of tings now aku paham..but at de same time lots more issues remain as scratched cds in my mind..like some weird stuff dat occur recently..ape nak buat? okla..slamat new yr to all.. make love n piss..not war. =)

2005-12-29T13:03:00.000+08:00

tido kol 6 bgn kol 12.30..woke up feeling funny.abit sick still..i tink.i decide nt gg chalet cos nothing intresting or important..unless wawa gi lah of cos.hah. sori para bodek2 sekalian..maebe in march kitorang overnite kat eastcoast..cam betol. so now gg sko0l blaja. smeone pls supply me wif u-noe-wat..im gg sicker. dah wa mau bla..takmo lambat agik.

2005-12-29T02:09:00.000+08:00

mampos!!lagik ard 4 days da start skola..baju maseh lom gosok seh.besides de pt aku blom abes blaja..hah.biaser ah org rajin..last minute den wan study.wat to do?i am me..hmmms.kk..in a few hours lepas tengok liverpool bantai everton..im gg chalet.haiz..asal seh wawa kene keje?ituari pass by dier she look VERY pretty..so diffrent frm last tyme i saw her.actually not reali ah..n de last tyme tu pon da a few yrs..haha.kalau lah die ikot...=P. so anws hope dey wont go pasir ris park mlm2 buter agik cam last yr.sial nye pasir ris park!! ituari gi balek teros saket..sial nye tempat. i hate..wo0dlands anuder place i'll try to avoid..damit.spend like close to 45 mins frm de int nak sampai annur..tanx in part to excellent directions..=). pas tu ade hati nak challenge ckp lets go to sme place we dont noe den c hu can make his or her way first..menyampah seh..haha.
sori eh kalau teraser..kla wan bbye now.
pok,pok,pok..
bujang lapok.
ada lighter,
tak ada rokok..
sape nak supply??

2005-12-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

k2..finally kan..im getting de hang of tings..eg. dis tingy. oso i tink im getting de hang of maths again..n den im gona get de hang of physics n chem..kalau tak jadi..den im gona get smeting to hang myself with..hmmm.yupz..if oni i got de hang of tings earlier..tapi better l8 den nvr.no tyme for regrets..bla3.its so0 untrue..hmms..0ne m0re week..

2005-12-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

kae..second entry..i'll keep track till im bored. n dis is a product of boredom...

I swear to the fire of this ancient curse,
I succumb,lost all emotions,
To surrender my soul to the abyss,
For eternity I shall reside,
Attending to my wounded heart,
The pride of one fallen and forsaken,
The slumber will cease when my soul is appeased,
Never!!
No love lost I hope for the beauty,
For the shadows cast on my hollowed mind,
Teardrops and heartache unruly,
And I pray at least it lasts for eternity on end...
To bask in the sorrow, hurt,
To burn by her frozen heart,
My mind is made up,
As certain as time,
I lay my soul to her tortures
Before my pathetic life is reclaimed...
You were so close,
Yet an infinity from my grasps...
Yet as I dare dictate
Your heart to me is out-of-bounds...

2005-12-21T03:28:00.000+08:00

my first entry..my sis jus finished setting dis ting up.tanx to her..so ferst entry not gona put much in..nnti2 pon b0le.. anws now dat i gt dis blog..can write more shit dat im used to stuffing up in my brain..hmmms.=) but like i sae..later2 den can write.bola in bout 15 mins..slamat..